Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006

Ahmadinejad's Letter

Dear President Carter,

Just kidding Mr. Bush, I know you're the President now, or should I say, You are "The Decider."

But seriously, the Middle East is in deep camel doo and we need to mount our tallest two-humpers to help get it out. The question is, how can we improve understanding and relations between our two countries?

Over the weekend, Mrs. Ahmadinejad and I were watching satellite TV and saw this program, "Wife Swap," and it hit me, of course! Let's you and me trade countries for a week. Call it, "President Swap." You can come over here, inspect our nuclear facilities, and I could go there and do the same. By the way, does Homer Simpson really work for a nuclear reactor company? Do you think I could meet him? I could even try to pass some laws for you, through your Congress. From what I read, I doubt I'd be any less effective. Since both our countries are already bombing and shelling Iraqis, we wouldn't even have to switch generals.
I'm sure you'd enjoy discussing the scriptures with our supreme religious leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, just as I cannot wait to dialogue with your Ayatollah, Pat Robertson. We are all reasonable men of G-d, that is, we all believe, "Thou shall not kill," is more of a suggestion.

Mr. President, I really think this could be big and I hope you'll consider it. Maybe we should see if Fox would film it as a reality show. I know you're in with them.

Allah O Akbar,

Your pal,


PS - Just to show there are no hard feelings, please find, enclosed with this letter, a box of Iran's finest salted pretzels.

Gen. Michael Hayden